If the road was smooth?

Then I guess this blog would not be about life on a mountainbike. The sydney 12hr was a complete failure. Awaking on Friday morning with a itchy throat, it was just the beginning of the end. It got considerably worse that day, I went to bed with a head that was throbbing, only to awake around 4am needing the toilet badly, I walked there but it soon to a (the) run's.
But I was there to push limits. Sitting on the front line with all the enduro kings, hoping at best for a 3rd, with no technology attached to my stem to the amusement of Andy Hall, he was concerned for 'how would u know if your in the red?' I just explained when my heart pops out my chest I just pop it back in.. So we had a few good laughs. The gun goes and so did I, well not as much as Troy glennan or a Bernard rider does, but the first lap was fast and trouble free. Jason English came around me on lap 2, and suggested lets catch Andy before the flat road to the end of the valley.. I didn't answer back nor did my legs.. The sense of feeling crap only got worse, and after a few laps I had to stop for a long toilet break,, and then I was just done, my body ached ecerywhere while riding like a nana. Jason and Andy lapped me, Andy reckon I didn't have enough coco pops for breakfast..
Ok so now I'm getting lapped by riders I should be following and they are having enough fun they can crack jokes at you.. Yup that's a bad day alright.
Each pit stop was longer every lap doubled the fatigue..
But my friends put the life on hold to help me out for the wknd, this was the most painful part of the ride. Not meeting my friends expectations and getting nowhere near mine.. I survived the whole winter without getting, only to fall ill to my favourite race of the year..
5.5hrs in, I pull the pin.
My health being more important. I ended up having to teach 9spin class in 6days following the race.
So the confidence has taken a major blow... Do I enter the Scott 24hr off the back of that? It's $200... Will I make the distance.
I've done 24s before.. Can I still do them? Do I have the fitness.?
I just don't know anymore... Weeks are disappearing so fast with little amount of training, I just love to race.. But there is nothing in the summer to race, I finish uni at the start of November.
I just don't feel I'm fast enough to be a contender.

Just chops.. Lost.